The few, the proud, the marines

I'm at work at the VA right now, in locked inpatient psych. The Marine Corp theme keeps giong through my head as I reflect on the evening.

I arrived an hour late because I had to take Ana to the clinic for an x ray on her ankle (she has at the very least a bad sprain, and possibly a bone chip in there). When I arrived i was informed that we had only 8 patients, but 4 of them are pretty psychotic and it's a zoo. As i was being briefed, I looked out to where they were having supper. One guy was smoking an imaginary cigarette and yelling at nobody. Another guy was laughing. With nobody. Guy with imaginary cigarette finally has enough of the imaginary person and stands up to throw a punch. As I head out to redirect him, another dude starts barfing into his tray. And before I can get there, another one wants to know if that bitch is coming back.

We got most of that under control just in time for a new admission, a detoxer who was so sloshed he coudn't keep his mouth shut around the breathalyzer, so I just took my hand and muzzled his lips down, to the endless amusement of the cops who delivered him. Well, it did the trick, didn't it? He blew a .3 something.

The few. The proud. The marines.
...................................................................................................

It's been a busy week, which is why I'm behind on posts. But for those who think a guilt trip is in order, rest assured that most bloggers aren't this prolific--not by any stretch of the imagination!

Remember my 100 year old lady from last year? I'm looking at her obituary. She passed away shortly after I had my day with her, and I can't say it's all sad. To make it to 100 is pretty darn good. Her obituary is something else! I can't direct you to it (its online) because that would be breaking confidentiality, but I'll share a few things. The first thing that I noticed was that she won an award in 2007 :) According to her obit, she was the first recipient of the Mother Benedicta Reip Award for living and exemplifying the ideasl of the Benedictine Order. She was not, however, a nun. Some other interesting things are that during world war II she was a member of the USO in the state of Washington, and she at one time worked with the poor and underprivileged in Harlem with Dorothy Day. She also traveled to the bahamas to work with the poor. I think it bears repeating--she wasn't a nun! Another thing I didn't know when I first posted about her was that she had a master's in teaching. And perhaps my favorite of all: she began her teaching career in 1926 in a one room school house. My grandma mary, who was old when she died at 81, was TWO when this lady started teaching. To think I spent one of her last days on earth with her, and even better, she went to eternity wearing my first and last shampoo set!
..................................
The barfies went through our house this week, and I got it. Earlier in the day I had a yen for a bravo burrito, which I havent had in years and years and years (it was a big dating food for me and Brian back when we were young and lived in st cloud). I got the veggie burrito which has lots of nice big black beans and rice. When the barfies hit, it was like bullets hitting the toilet bowl. MACHINE gun bullets! Somehow, I have lost my taste for bravo burritos...........

Wil and Zac had it too. Zac is having a hard time recovering, poor guy. His little tummy just can't seem to calm down.

That should be enough of a post to tide you over for a few days.
...............................

The Adventures of Miracle Puppy!

Boy, did I have a rough night!

It starts yesterday midafternoon when I noticed Leo wasn't around. This is virtually unheard of; he usually is literally underfoot. I began to worry that he had followed the car out when we brought Ana to Austin's birthday party, or followed Brian when he went running. I searched high and low, everywhere outside he could have possibly been, got in the car and drove up and down the highway. Nothing. I was pretty darn worried---a little black pug on a busy highway on a foggy night? Worried? I was sick! Brian got out of bed and took a turn driving around too. We both went all the way to Cold Spring and back, though we didn't think he could have gotten that far (just wait til you hear the error of our ways). By bedtime I was convinced he was dead in a ditch. It was so awful. He is MY puppy, you know; always with me.

I had a horrible night and so did the kids. When I dragged myself out of bed this morning Ana was already up and working hard on the computer making "Missing" posters. She came up and presented me with a big stack of them. They are so cute. "MISSING. GENDER: MALE, PUG, BLACK. OWNERS 685 4166 AND 282 4166. LEO IS NOT WARING HIS COLLER WHEN HE RAN AWAY".

Her eyes were all puffy and red from crying all night worrying about him, I felt so bad for her, but wasn't in better shape myself! Brian had an inch worth of beard on his face and the boys were walking around like zombies (minus Wils, who had a tummy bug--which explains the car fart issues from yesterday).

When the kids were on the bus I went to town to the vet clinic to tell them we were missing a black pug, assuming someone would find him by the road and bring him in. The receptionist was very sympathetic and carefully took notes on what I told her. As she was writing, another receptionist came up behind her and said "Hey, I've got a guy on the phone wondering if someone is looking for a little black pug."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So "my" receptionist took his call and told me he would meet me in Avon (Avon? That's 12 miles away!!) at McDonalds in 20 minutes. Before she hung up I heard her say to him "Yes, he's very special to them too." (So I knew he liked my dog).

I stopped at the bakery to get a gift certificate for the guy, and called the school to have the secretary tell the teachers to tell the kids.

When I pulled into McDonalds (in AVON????) this guy gets out of a forklift service truck with my dog...on a leash, with a collar on :) Said dog goes nuts with excitement of seeing me! I got lots of pugs and kisses, and when I looked up the guy was bawling his head off. I mean, tears just streaming down his face. He was about 65 years old and kind of rough around the edges but his face was just the softest, mushiest, face ever when he looked at my dog. I thanked him profusely and told him he had made 5 kids very happy (the kids..hahaha!). The guy sniffled a few times and said....."I used to have a little pug."

Well, I know Linda is nodding her head and saying "That explains it!". Right, Linda?

I had a gut feeling and asked him if his little pug lived out his full life. He said no, his pug, a fawn, was hit by a UPS truck and killed. Ironic, because Minnie survived that, although hers I think was Fedex (I'm sure those wheels feel the same).

Leo's benefactors name appears to be Bob (how's that for goosebumpy, Linda?), and he told me his friend had found him walking on highway 50 about 10 miles from our house. The friend brought him to Bob, apparently because he knew Bob had had a pug. Bob knew right away that someone was missing that guy. He took him in and let him SLEEP IN HIS BED WITH HIM! Right away in the morning, he called the vet clinic--AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME I WAS THERE. What are the chances of that? I mean, really? What are they? I'd say slim to none.

So we have our miracle puppy back home. He is none the worse for wear with the exception of a missing toenail. That can be explained by his marathon walk; I lost toenails after the Twin Cities Marathon.

Seeing the kids again after our joyful reunion was especially fun. Except Ben, kind of, because he was convinced that his friend Cody had found him, because Cody told him on the bus that he did and that Leo bit him so he had to let him go. Riiiiggggghhhhhtttt!

Elijah arrived at school to see a note on his desk that said "Leo has been found". He grabbed it and ran to find Ana, who was already celebrating the news herself; it had been relayed verbally by Ms. Schmidt.

When I got Elijah off the bus this afternoon, the bus driver motioned me over to ask "Did ya find your dog yet?"

Isn't it sweet how dogs can warm people up like that?

Ana has been the most excited about this; she has been almost manic. She had been so worried. She has him wrapped in a blanket and is bringing him treats. I guess that is just the nurturer in her.

It was also hilarious to see the look on Brian's face when I walked in the door with the dog. He didn't know he'd been found; his eyes were glazed because he was falling asleep and he kind of bleary eyed saw Leo walk by him and then BOOM! he was upright and yelling 'leo!!!!!". He looked at me in wonder and I said "Yes, Avon McDonalds".

And thus concludes Leo's big adventure. It'll be his last, if I have anything to do with it!

mini me I and mini me II

Mini Me I is not the one you probably think it is. Though Elijah looks just like I used to, his sister is much more so in temperament.

She had a birthday party to go to today, for a boy named Austin. I personally think he's really cute; she thinks he's annoying. Her friend Lizzie wants to marry him. Wil (Mini Me II) and Lij (well--another Mini Me) rode with to drop her off. On the way there somebody had nasty gas; when I exclaimed about it, little fingers pointed at each other like on cue in a movie. I'm embarrassed to admit that I pretty much figured it was the girl (it usually is, and after all, she is a Mini Me).

When we pulled up to drop her off (at Suburban Health and Fitness), Lizzie and Alizay were on the steps waiting for her and they both started jumping and screaming. Ana started screaming. I said...you guys are acting like girls :) It was too funny.

3 hours later me and all the boys except Zac went back to pick her up. There was again a problem with car farts, but I didn't say anything (just didn't get around to it, I guess). We parked and I went around to get William out of his car seat and as I assisted him, he crinkled up his face in his gangsta look and said "Mommy, those are MY farts". I laughed out loud, of course, but should have known that wasn't all he would have to say about it. I picked him up to lift him over a puddle and he said "Yeah, I'm farting ALOT!".

So then we go inside to get Ana and she has cake frosting all over her face, wild hair haloing her face, food on her shirt, and her words tumble over each other in her haste to tell me stories. Mini Me!

My favorite was probably when I asked her who all was there. She said, "Well, me, Lizzie, Alizay, Matthew, Luke, Austin, and Parker". I don't know Parker, so I asked who he is. "Oh, he's a pain in the ass."

........................................................

housing

Most of you know I've always hated the size of this house (4200 sf). It's too big to be practical and now with the economy as scary as it is, it's a downright burden. But this isn't a bitchy post. On the contrary, I just tucked 3 kids into one bed (minus another guy that I made go to bed at 7 because he was cranky from the eclipse viewing last night) and I'm just thinking that we (Americans?) have oversized everything and gotten so greedy (that wasn't me, that was Brian, all the way!) but kids innately prefer more closeness and less expanse. We have these huge bedrooms for them and they want to share A BED! Their idea of private time is to sit in their corner where they can still see everyone else and everyone else can still see them (although ideally won't be actually LOOKING). Geez, I could easily chop of 1,000 sf and not only not miss it, but we'd all feel cozier. But they'd probably still want to share a bed :) I like that!

Reports of my early retirement from milk production were greatly exaggerated. I guess baby just took a day off. Today he was digging around like it's still his business. At the same time I realized I have no idea where the bottles are and I don't have the first clue how to make formula! So I'll just keep whipping 'em out til he's 1, as long as he remembers he has that option. I suppose it's always possible he'll forget again, or change his mind again, or take another day off, whatever the heck it is he just did. But "they" didn't seem to mind and offered no protests.

Lij is planning on getting two more white dumpy tree frogs. He plans to name them Dumpy Too and Dumpy Also.

100 years and counting

I had a fabulous patient today at hospital clinicals. She is 100 years old and a retired GYM TEACHER! Never married, no kids....hmm....did just meet the world's oldest switch hitter? She really was a cool, cool, lady. She had 8 siblings and every last one of the others died before 50 of various causes. And here she is...100 years old as of Christmas eve 2007. I got to take her down a floor to a special tub room with a shampoo station and wash and dry her hair. My instructor was a little nervous that I wouldn't know how to do that but I was able to assure her that I've been watching THAT particular nursing skill since birth--literally. I was excited to call Mom and tell her I did a 100 year old head. My first head, and it was 100 :) This patient was sharp as a tack. Sharper than a couple recently post-menopausal people I can think of (you know who you are..sorry! hahaha!). She was just fascinating to talk to. Her favorite sports are swimming and bike riding; she just stopped both a few years ago. She had pictures and bouquets from different groups of people she has taught or somehow touched over the years (and this is just a short term hospital stay for exacerbation of congestive heart failure). One picture was of a bunch of young men, about 25 years old, standing around her with a birthday cake sayng "Happy 100th, Connie!". I asked her who they were and she said "Oh, those are a bunch of big boys I used to supervise on the playground". That would have been after retirement because if they are 25 (she did say they are in college) she would have been at least 80 when she supervised them on the playground. Do the numbers blow your mind or what? She even imparted some words wisdom: "have some fun!" I couldn't agree more! What a treat to spend the day with her. Just had a fun evening with the kiddos, too. Here is a perfect example of why I wanted a big family. Wils got into something in the laundry room and cut his finger; the cute wasn't too bad but it did bleed copiously. He came to the living room hysterical because he was bleeding. My Lord, you would think someone had pressed an emergency response button. Before I was even back with bandaids they had a gurney (complete with his special fuzzy blanket) set up, drinks with ice and straws, books for him to read as he recuperates, etc. Oh, and Ben was in the laundry room making a get well card. Recovery was swift what with such supports in place. Shouldn't we all be so lucky? Right now they are all in bed in the same bedroom because after the drama of traumatic injury and miraculous recovery, followed by a full lunar eclipse, they just had to be together. Wil and Ben are at the end of Ana's bed and Wil just said "I'm sleeping with Ben. He's being nice." (To which Ben smirks...WHAT is he planning? haha!) We all stood inside my curtains by a window watching the eclipse. It was cool, but they are a little too slow for the pace I like to move at! When I tried to step away for a minute there would be a major pitter patter of little feet coming after me. So we stood there for many minutes The silence was broken often by a famililar little voice. One interation gave me a glimpse of things to come: Wiliam, while looking out the window, also noticed his dump truck in the snow in the driveway. "HEY! That's my dump truck! Right there! Look guys!" Ben...monotone, flat affect, unimpressed, wry..."Yeah. Maybe it's causing the shadow on the moon" (he was being sarcastic...lol....and the big kids got it completely and we all had good laugh). One more thing of note. Ariana just LOVES taking care of people who are sick or hurt. You would think nursing would be an ideal profession for her, but she can't stand the sight of blood or boogers or anything like that. After the fun of setting up and ER and carrying out a care plan, she came to me and said "I do want to be a nurse after all, but the kind that HELPS PEOPLE, not the kind that has to look at blood!". Sad news for me to end the day---Zac has weaned himself. He just has no more interest. It's been waning since he had RSV; I was told that might happen because they are so uncomfortable with sucking. Many moms will pump and bottle feed (it's easier for them that way), but I couldn't see doing that at 11 months (he will be in a few days!). So there concludes the long and illustrious career of my ..........personal feeding devices. I'd like to have a retirement party for them; they deserve it! Maybe reconstructive surgery? Falsies? Do we still have Grandma's somewhere?

William B., embarrassing kid

Tonight we had story night instead of ECFE. He was very confident when we arrived, marching in with his little arms a'swingin'. We were seated in a room similar to a band room, with different levels of floor, like big wide steps--am I making sense? So anyway Max starts talking and this big dirty guy and his kid come in and sit right next to William (who is on my right). Right away I catch a wiff of this dude. He smelled like poop. I'm not sure how that could be, but he did. Thinking about it right now it was probably a dental thing; he wasn't any better to look at than he was to smell. His poor little kid! But mine...welll, he wrinkled his little nose, slitted his green eyes, and said...loudly..."IT SMELLS IN HERE!". That would have been enough, but he FOLLOWED IT UP BY MOVING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF ME and shooting the offending fellow a gangster look. I'll address the issue of tact with him sometime soon. I was too busy laughing at him tonight to think of such things! I'm hoping Stinky Guy didn't know it was him Wil was referring to; he did look like the type to not have a clue. The first teacher sat down and held up the story she was about to read. From my left (which a few minutes prior would have been from my RIGHT) this little--but robust--voice proclaimed 'HEY, I HAVE THAT BOOK!". Max invited the children to come and sit around her. William, as usual, declined, but he was quite sure that shouldn't affect his ability to see the pictures well. "HEY, I CAN'T SEE THE PICTURES!" Two stories into the evening he spied a cart with cookies and milk. "I DONT WANT ANY MORE STORIES, CAN WE HAVE A SNACK NOW?" Third story. "HEY, I DON'T HAVE THAT ONE." (turning to look at me, stage whisper) "YOU CAN GET IT FOR ME". THEN we sang the dreaded "Tooty Ta"! This is a song I first encountered when Elijah was in kindergarten. It requires participants to do sillly things like plant feet wide part, with knees together, and tongue out, etc. Nothing me or any other self respecting Giller would be caught dead doing. Elijah to this day has not done it, despite the fact that it is a daily thing in kindergarten here. Ben LOVES the tooty ta. We predicted WIlliam would not do it. We predicted correctly. Max announced we would be doing it and I heard...loud and clear despite my pointed lack of eye contact "NO WAY!' Last but not least we had snacks. Waiting in line to get our cookies and milk, I was told "YOU CAN HAVE THE MILK. I'LL HAVE THE COOKIES". (When I type in all caps here, I do indeed mean to imply shouting). When told to thank the lady for his cookies................................just to top the night off with perfection...........................HE MEOWED. Bless her heart, to save my face she told me she's had a few dogs in class lately, and THEY even eat out of bowls with no hands. On the way out I told him that I had talked to Papa this morning and Papa had said he was thinking about him. Wil went gangster and said "Nah, he's thinking about Benjamin" (he actually used the full name!). I said no, Papa was thinking about you and said you are a funny guy. Miniature gangster replied "No, HE'S a funny guy!" For what it's worth, I remember hanging on a coat rack at a church supper around that age and being invisible inside the coats until some unsuspecting soul reached in to get theirs. But I think he's worse.

Lijah, baby

Lij took the news pretty well. The scene was kind of funny if you visualize it, actually. I sat him down and said I had some very sad news for him. Then I cleared my throat and tried to talk but I couldn't. Then Ana burst into tears and threw her arms around him (my drama queen). And the poor guy is sitting there looking at us like what the hell happened to YOU two? When I finally choked it out he tried to act silly but I could see in his face that he was upset (it was RED and he had dark rings around his eyes). He wanted to go play. Later ana told me that he had said to her "I'm going to miss my little Dumpster". I let him stay up late to be with me and have extra talk time, and then he slept in my bed with me. He has had a lot of questions today, so that is good. He has talked to gramma on the phone and tried to call Joanie but she is still up north somewhere with James and will be back tonight (so, Joanie, he is awaiting your sympathetic call). I also took him to McDonalds in Avon for some special time together and the lucky guy even got to come with me to the accountants, which I hate with a passion and am still crabby about. Now, about baby. I was just a few days ago telling Brian how I have never been irritated with baby, not even once. I've never tired of his company. Karma ate my dogma. There's a first time for everything. Baby 4 sale.

RIP Little Friend

We have some sad news here. At this point I am the only one who knows besides Ana but I have to go upstairs and break the news to a little boy who will be very sad. Our friend Dumpy has gone to the great pond in the sky. I just found him in his tank resting peacefully in a corner. I have been wondering about him for a few weeks because he hasn't been very interested in his crickets. He was very old for a frog and I'm pretty sure it was just his time to go. Most of you have seen pics of Dumpy or met him in person; he was a really neat guy and an amphibian you could actually get attached to. We will miss him! I have an intense dislike for society's way of pushing boys to be tough and mean. Elijah is going to be very sad about his special friend (and first pet) and I encourage you to talk to him about it and tell him about your own special memories of long ago pets. I will tell him about Bob, my cat who died when *I* was 7. It was no minor deal by any means and I expect this will be a pretty big deal for Lij as well. My parents took me out of school to tell me that Bob had died! Kinda cool :) Helen Berklund was our long term sub in second grade (because Mr. Brovold, our teacher, had been killed in a car accident early in the year); I remember her taking me aside and telling me something about some animal she had a bazillion gillion years ago. I remember I liked that she said that. So, do talk to Lij even if he tries to act tough. Being that we are in the middle of winter I am stumped as to how we will appropriately dispose of his remains. A backyard burial would have been perfect. We might have to tell him we brought him to the vet to be cremated or something. PS You know, we never really knew if Dumpy was a boy. He could have been a she all this time! PSS I also remember Helen Berklund telling us all kinds of horror stories about children who talked on phones during lightning storms, went swimming after eating, crossed their eyes too long, and more!

Picture this

Zac and I were laying on the living room floor playing. Brian was sitting on the porch watching the Daytona 500. Zac suddenly spied his dad way across those two rooms and took off like a little lizard with his side-to-side-scurry-crawl. Took him a long time to get there, I was on the floor watching the whole time. So Brian was absorbed in watching TV (as usual) and Zac pulled himself up at the endge of the couch and tapped Brian's leg. I have never seen him so surprised...hahahahaha! Zac was sooo proud of himself! Brian picked him up and went back to watching TV and Zac stood facing back over Brian's shoulder, looking at me, and waving. He is so damn cute!

Ree

She did have a stroke and is at Regions. She also has pneumonia already so that is unnerving as that is what usually takes them at that age. That said, I really don't think this is the semi that's going to have her pushing up daisies (she used that phrase after her aneurysm..haha!). There is a very sad thing in that she is unable to write; she has the most beautiful handwriting. She taught it to third graders for 30 something years! She had me and my mom and our brothers in her classroom. Unfortunately I was one of her failures. Other than that there doesn't seem to be any physical effects; it's all cognitive. Expressive aphasia is the main symptom; she isn't able to name people or objects accurately. With strokes it's so hard to say how much will come back with time; she really could recover quite a bit and I do think she will. It sounds like she won't be able to go back to her apartment for awhile, but that should be OK because Kevin, Kaye, Renee, and Greg, and all of their girls take great care of her and will even let her think she is doing the caretaking. I'm debating making a drive down today to see her as we are all at home, but I have a lower respiratory thing going on and dont want to expose her to any more bugs. Secret confession: I'm dying to see what she would call me.

This Blog Is Pissing Me Off

It's doing wierd things like eating posts and leaving these big gaps I can't delete. Well, this has been the week of Muffin's new tricks. He waves bye bye, and now he also likes to play patty cake and clap. AND we just caught him going up the stairs! He thought he was hilarious. He sat there, perched precariously, and belly laughed. He had a big audience which I'm afraid he has learned to expect. He also burst Brian's bubble somewhat--he calls the dog "daddy". It's his pronunciation of Doggie, but still....hahaha! I just took Elijah shopping to blow his birthday money. He did have to put 10% in savings first. It almost killed him but he did it. I have to say he is a pretty savvy shopper, with some help. He went for a big clearance Lego item and a buy 2 get 1 free Transformer deal. Ana had some allowance money burning a hole in her pink wallet and she saw a book of children's plays and splurged. She is now directing one here in the basement. She sure loves drama and dialogue. While we were shopping, Ben was doing price checks for Elijah. Lij would say "How much does this cost?" and Ben would look and say (in his monotone) "It's 19.99". He'd be right, too. While riding in the car he has been reading signs out loud. A very fascinating guy. Wils was patient and so good. He sat in the cart and visited with me while the others shopped. I asked him if they were making him as crazy as they were making me, and he said "Yeah, Mommy, they're making me crazy." He used a word that cracked me up earlier this week. On the way home from ECFE with his wonderful Valentimes, he said "Put the bag in my lap, please." I'm not sure why it made me laugh, but it did. I didn't know 3 year olds had laps, I guess! Many of you know my great aunt Ree; I wanted to let you know she is in the hospital right now with a possible stroke. Last I heard there were no physical symptoms, just word salad. I'm not too concerned just yet because in her life she has survived everything but being hit by a semi and I do think she'd walk away from that as well. I'm not kidding....rheumatic fever with heart damage, Legionnaire's disease, Cerebral aneurysm.....and she gets up and goes on like she had a cold! Nonetheless keep her in your prayers; she loves to take care of everyone else and hates to be sick. She is the center of her family, like so many moms are, and it's hard on them too.

Missing post from midweek

Writtten on February 13th, posted on February 16th. Elijah is 7 today!!! It blows my mind. He is a lovely 7 year old. At present, so to speak, he is playing with presents. He got Lego kit number 7773 from Joanie. He requested Lego kit number 7773. It reminds me of Brian when he is shopping for something. He probably knew the specs and beam and horsepower and liters and plugs. And things. Now, the rubber band mystery. Yesterday I got an email from Brian that Ben had been calling Joanie and Gramma (I was at school). So I called Grandma to check in, like I usually do. She says Ben is trying to reach me. So I call Ben. Ben asks for "@#!@#$ asdklfapoierhkalj !@#$DFASDFs" (sounded like that to me). I asked him if he had told Joanie what he needed, and he said yes, so I called her. She had just send me an email with his request. I'm sure that was confusing, so before I define the mystery, let me explain! We have a phone with programmed button. Apparently one of the buttons had been messed with somehow. So Ben was trying to reach me by pushing the "Momcell" button and got Grandma every time. But, he was reading the label correctly. So finally he figured he would call Joanie and SHE could reach me. Which she did. So our 5 year old is enterprising! What he wanted was sticks, preferably painted but he could paint them if need be, and rubber bands of various sizes, including some big enough to fit around his head. ??? So we are all dying to know what this is about. Here is what it seems to be. He has counted sticks by 10s and put small rubber bands around each bundle of 10. He has 2 bundles so far. He is planning to make 10 bundles and put them together into one large bundle of 100, which is what the big rubber band is for (why he used his head to quantify it, I have no clue!). Sometimes the guy is so smart he is scary! I'm sure they are doing this at school but it is nice to see him take his interest home.

I've tried to post through the week but my computer is a turd. Enough said! I've also been busy with clinicals. That was very interesting. Today I had two patients; one a 31 year old girl whose lung collapsed one day out of the blue and wouldn't stay reinflated so she had to have open chest surgery where they rubbed the outside of her lungs with rough paper to irritate the membranes and make them stick so they heal into a tough scar that won't separate. Does that sound painful...or does that sound painful? She is otherwise perfectly healthy. Shit happens. The 2nd patient, whom I've been taking care of all week, has had a far worse experience, and she too was perfectly healthy beforehand. She is 55 years old and has no health problems (had). In early January her wrist got sore. Her doc said it was tendonitis and scheduled her to consult with an orthopedic doc. Within a few days she was in ICU near death. She has what is called septic arthritis. Basically, somehow, some really nasty bacteria got into her joint. It is also MRSA and very difficult to treat. She has since developed lung involvement and multiple organ failure. She was doing pretty good early in the week but when I left today (I'm now done on that floor) she was going into shock and becoming septic again. Her blood pressure was 77/34. I'll be surprised if she survives--all this from a sore wrist!!! Is that scary or what? The pathophysiology of it is fascinating though, isn't it? Mom, make sure dad reads that so he can get septic arthritis. I'm off now til Tuesday as are the kids. I don't even have to work. This'll be sweet. PS Happy anniversary Joanie and James!

I cannot believe he said that

Tonight elijah and I had cub scouts. It was a nice, quick meeting; we discussed nutrition and the food pyramid. Then we moved on to planning the next meeting, which is a tour of the bakery (it just hit me that it's ironic coming after a nutrition meeting). The leader had spoken with me about it before, so at the meeting she just asked if we could still do it March 10th at 6 30 PM. I confirmed that this would be fine. Then Elijah raised his hand (always, always, always, raises that hand--this guy does NOT talk out of turn). His leader called on him. And he stood up and LOUDLY declared "I OWN THE BAKERY"

My God, I turned every shade of red. My jaw went slack. My face was hot. I would never, ever, in a million years have expected that statement to come out of HIS mouth!!!! I'm trying to figure out where it came from. We will be having a talk about that issue, because I dislike that type of advertising, but for now I'm just going to have a laugh about it.

On the way home we were talking about my very bad day (yes, it continues; I am wondering if it would be better to spend this year in a coma, for safety). First my car slid into the ditch at the end of the driveway. Then I took the Denali and stopped at the bakery for water and as I was leaving THAT son of a bitch slid into some chicks car and crumpled her fender. Yeah. It was just a really bad day. So Lij was looking to make me feel better and he said "I ALWAYS have bad days!"

student, patient, cadaver....

(This is my second post in one day, so look below if you haven't check in for awhile; the new look is just for fun, a Valentine-y look)

I was showing a friend at work some pictures I had forwarded. One of them was the one of Ariana playing dentist. Many of you have seen it; she wore safety goggles (from the toolbox in the laundry room) and had her patient (our resident 3 year old who himself is into roleplaying...meow) draped and reclining while she used long, sharp instruments to do scary things in his mouth. The friend responded by commenting on how creative she is and asked if there is a role she hasn't yet done.

That made me think about all the creative things they have done and I decided to add a post with a few of my favorites, because this blog is largely a way for me to archive for them.

My all time favorite, hands down, was the autopsy. I used to watch Dr. G, Medical Examiner back before I established a moratorium on weekday TV viewing (in this respect I practice what I preach beause I, too, benefit from greater attention to my studies). One day the kids set up a medical examiner facility in my living room. We had Dr. G (Ana), two assistants (Lij and Ben) and a cadaver (William...meow). They had my scrubs on (I was working in a nursing home at that time) and the cadaver was convincingly positioned although he was allowed to suck his thumb. Dr. G would remove an organ and hand it to an assistant for weighing. The other assistant was recording data.

My one regret was that I couldn't really eavesdrop and hear what they were saying as they did their autopsy. It must have been interesting!

Another favorite in the medical category was the c-section delivery. The maternal patient was very interesting--"she" was 2 pillows laid end to end under a blanket. Again, they had scrubs on; they had surgical tools (scissors, bandages, towels); and best of all, they delivered twins! The bitty twins! Ariana was, of course, the lead surgeon. What was really entertaining was how she would "deliver" a twin and hand it to an assistant, who would then run it to another room and place it on a table and begin the newborn assessment (complete with a bulb aspirator to clear out the tiny mouths and noses). I believe that was probably a pediatrician although pediatric nurses can take on that role also depending on the circumstances. So each assistant got a baby to handle while the surgeon stitched up mom.

Last but not least is one that is going on daily right now. Ariana has dropped the medical theme and moved on to academia. She runs a preschool in my basement. There is a daily schedule (neatly typed and printed on the computer) posted on the wall. A few days ago she created a letter to send home to parents (which would be me, because everyone in her school is related to me). The letter was about challenge math and required my signature to allow my child, William, to participate. The letter was signed "Ms. Schurman". Interestingly, I noted in her gradebook that Elijah and Ben were NOT placed in challenge math. Might I surmise they have been less cooperative students than William?

I'll continue to add these stories as I remember them, so they are recorded for posterity (and future embarrassment). Send me any you remember, there have been so many good ones.

I survived the party

Lij's birthday party was very nice. I was surprised by how quiet the big boys were. They are all into small toys like bionicles and legos and they just sat in a big circle and worked on them. The GIRLS took a few years off my life! They all had a good time, though, and were well behaved. Lij did a nice job letting his friends touch his toys, considering that's a painful thing for him.

Ariana and I had an email conversation today while I was working. I followed up to our discussion about what she wants to be when she grows up by asking what grade she wants to teach. Here is her answer verbatim:

"I would say kindergarden preschool and first grade. I could do kindergarten at 5:00 too 6:00 and preschool 7:09 to 8:03 and first grade 9:00 to 3:45"

Are we ambitious? :)

This morning while I was doing things in the basement William and Zac played together by the treadmill (it's nonfunctioning and the company won't return my emails; they have a complicated phone system that makes it so relay is useless; we don't have VRS, and I can't understand them on the phone, so the 25 year warranty is useless). Wil was showing Zac how to drive hotwheels. It was pretty cute. Zac has started saying something that sounds like "mymomma! mymomma!" in a sort of blubber while dragging his little self along the floor after me. It's a WHINEY thing but it's cute.

This week I have 5 days straight of school; 2 days of class (Mon and Tue) and 3 days of hospital clinicals after that. It's the surgical recovery floor rotation; this is the unit Charlotte worked on for 30 years and you KNOW she told all her friends to watch for me. I hate this. I could try to hide my identifying characteristics, but that would require hair straightening, blonde dye, and a miracle.

Also of note this week is that Elijah will have his actual birthday and turn 7! Wow! Hard to believe. He does LOOK 7 though; he has gotten very tall and is filling out as well.

We are now at the point of winter that reminds me of the last few weeks of pregnancy. You can't remember things ever being any other way and you can't believe they'll ever be any different. Everything is so insular and enclosed, including my head!

Girl Time!

Oh, did we have fun! She literally WAS on the edge of her seat the whole time. Every once in awhile she would look back at me and give me a thumbs up with a big toothy grin. The movie was in 3d and let me tell you, that has changed since I was a kid. There were previews of the summer movies coming out in 3d and I am excited to see them. It literally looks like someone is standing there right in front of you. One of them is about flies going to the moon and there are scenes where they fly out at you and I kept jumping and cringing. The boys are going to LOVE these.

Anyway, back to the girls night out. We listened (well, she did....I turned my ear off) to her new High School Musical 2 CD on the way there. We arrived just before the previews started, so it was perfect timing. The movie was really good, it was almost as good as actually being at a concert--probably BETTER from my perspective, because I get so overstimulated and irritated by sensory overload (you know how I like dim lights etc).

I have some cute pictures that I will upload and try to post here although that rarely works so I'll probably end up emailing them.

We got home as Brian was leaving for work. I had told him to go to bed at 7 after WIl was in bed and to let Ben and Lij stay up on the couch watching TV til we got home. They did and they thought they were the oldest people on earth. When we got back I asked if they behaved and they said they ordered pizza and had a party.

Speaking of parties, the 7 year old birthday one is about to commence.

wow--thanks Mom

That's about all I can say. Probably the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me! I will make it up to you by continuing to be entertaining. It might be all I can do, but at least i'm reliable in that respect.
.................

Zac had his well baby visit today. He is so, so, so, so tiny. And so, so, so, so....LOUD! He is in the 1st percentile for height (is it OK that I laughed at that?) and 3rd percentile for weight. His doc is not concerned though because he is proportioned and he is growing. He also is 5th kid and all of his brothers started out small (as a matter of fact...each has been smaller than the one before) and now look at big boys # 1 and 2. At last check they were both taller than average. Some day Zac could be 6' 4" and 250 pounds! Ana has always been in the 95th percentile. I have to admit I get a little guilty pleasure out of that because I like not doing anything the way people think it should be. A big, kick ass girl and some gentle little boys. Right up my alley.

By loud I mean...we went to Party Warehouse to get supplies for the 7 year old party tomorrow and alllll through the store he jabbered and babbled SO loud that salespeople were laughing and coming up to watch him. His face was getting really red and he was smiling behind the yelling. Oh, and cookie in hand, on face, on clothes, etc. Not a kid I wanted people coming to look at it. Speaking of red faces....I think mine was worse than his.

And yes--mom had the best description of him--he smiles like a dolphin!

trap

Lij asked me today if we could put a trap by his corner so if his brothers try to go there, they get TRAPPED! Picture them hanging upside down by their ankles with contraband hotwheels in their greedy little fists...hahahaha!

Ana and Lij had dentist appointments today and I am relieved to say there are no cavities. I really thought Ana would have some, but she didn't. The exciting news is that Mr. Lij now has 6 year molars, which we didn't know, and which explains the behavior leading up to his stay at Hazeldon. I mean Grandma's. (It's me who went to Hazeldon that weekend.)

His hygienist (I HATE spelling that word!) told me after that he is such a nice little boy. See, he really is the angel out in public. Me and Ana, we don't bother. If we are nasty, we are nasty.

Hey, if you guys are having trouble getting used to Wil's hair cut short, wait til you see it with a bottle of Elmer's glue in it! Yes, he did that! It has the consistency and appearance of molded doll hair. Like Ken. Same color as Ken, too.

We discovered today that baby likes riding in the wagon. It's too cute. I have pictures to upload and send out.

Oh, the dentist commented on ariana's "dogtag" w hich is a necklace with her name on it that I found for about 1.75 somewhere; her name is even spelled right. I mentioned to the dentist that I had found them for 4 of the kids and was excited about that (the boys get theirs for "valentimes" day). The dentist asked which kid didn't get one and I said "Baby, but he won't mind". The hygienist looked at me oddly for a moment before saying "Is his name really Baby?"

(No, is yours really Stupid?)

Ariana has been wanting to see the Hannah Montana concert movie so badly. There was a real concert tour and scalpers totally ruined it for the little girls who wanted to see it so much. Tickets were costing 180 dollars! Hannah did appear at Target Center but we sure didn't have 180 dollars to take her (360 for an adult to go with her!). She had even looked up tickets online and knew exactly where I could get them...but of course I couldn't. So anyway the promoters decided to tour a movie of the concert but to have it play for only one week in a few theaters. Ana was on it like white on rice. Unfortunately St Cloud isn't showing it....I was thinking about taking her to the cities for it (spoiling, I know, but she is such a good girl and such a big help, and she said she would buy her own ticket--which for a movie is minimal anyway). She heard through the grapevine that Willmar is showing it. Today when she was in school I looked it up online and sure enough, it's showing in Willmar this Friday--and I got us tickets!!!!! I was SOOO excited to show her. When I picked her up at school to go to the dentist I had her close her eyes and I put them in her hand (you just print out your confirmation number and bring it with you, but it prints looking just like a ticket, so it was obvious what it was). The look on her face was, as they say, priceless. It's so nice to be able to treat a kid who really deserves it and who asks for so little. So tomorrow night she and I are going out for GIRL TIME! Willmar is only about 50 minutes away, going West, so it'll be a nice drive, time to visit, and an hour in the theater. I can't wait to see her on the edge of her seat.

She and Lij have been working on their valentines (Ben is DONE!) and they had a good idea. I had bought Power Ranger ones for him and butterfly ones for her. They figured they would split both of them so they could give gender-appropriate ones to each of their classmates. I think it was good teamwork and worked out nicely.

This year I bought 2 bags of little candies so they could tape some on, as in past years I have not done this and they feel bad that their classmates give them treats but they don't reciprocate. One bag was gummy bears (valentine colored) and another was sweettarts. Ana cracked me up--she was very careful to not give gummies to classmates with braces!

Hey, I was looking for you!

William has been greeting me at the door with that lately and it is so cute! He is so genuine when he says it, too. Then today he added, " ....and you came!" (tiny palms up)

He also told me, about going to bed, "I. SAID. NO." (tiny brow furrowed)

I need to digress into politics for a bit. It's my blog, I guess it's OK to be opinionated. Remember the Hillary/Obama poll? Ana couldn't sleep last night because she was so into the Super Tuesday results. We are both pleased with Hillary's standing. What I wanted to say that might be offensive (and too bad cuz it's my blog...ha ha ha!) is that if you are a Republican, consider that McCain is going to get the nomination, and if he were elected president he would be the oldest president ever elected. Older even than Ronald was when he was elected. Very hard for me to believe, but true, according to CNN and others. And I ask you this, my fellow Americans: do you REALLY want a president who will go right from the white house to the next available private room at Cozy Critters Manor?

Lij had big news today. He has worked so hard and done so well with his reading that he is no longer in the little group that meets in another room for extra support. He was doing fine all along, they just felt he needed more encouragement and reinforcement; now, after he has worked so, so, hard all year, they feel he should be in a higher level group because he isn't challenged enough and is spending more time helping other kids, so he is moving up. I am very proud of him; he is truly diligent about everything, not just about the toys he wants. Which is happy news.

Benj was happy today because he had phy ed. So you know who my athlete is! He was excited to tell me that they had "obstacles" and he "catcheded Henry and went by him".

Baby boy is a happy little button, he must be feeling a ton better. He likes to vocalize LOUDLY, to the point that his face is red, but he is smiling while he does it. Really very entertaining.

I think I have more stories but they are escaping me. Bear with me as my schedule is very intense this month. After this month it will be much lighter because I will only have school on Monday afternoon and then Tuesday all day, except for 4 days in March when I have evening clinicals.

Who's your candidate?

We got back last night from an overnight in Wisconsin for Elijah's grown up party. We had a nice time, especially him! He got awot of dowwars and good toys, books, and clothes, too. He is working on his thank you notes now. We had a special treat in that Gary and Terrie's grandsons were there so we had extra babies to play with. They always comes in handy when people don't want to share!

While we were there, Ariana conducted a poll, asking guests who their candidate is. One caveat: there were no Republican choices. She offered Obama or Hillary. Hillary won her poll. I asked Ana who HER candidate is and she said Hillary, and Elijah likes Hillary too.

The interesting thing here is that Ana really IS interested in history and government. It makes sense she would like politics as well. I am the most UNpolitical animal ever, so I don't know where it comes from except maybe her Godmother, Joanie, who is a diehard Dem. I don't think the two of them talk politics though.

Ana and I were talking about her poll today and she asked an excellent question. She wondered if George Washington was a Republican or Democrat. I told her that those parties weren't around back then, but that we could probably guess what he would have been based on what we know about him. We decided he probably would have been a Republican. She then brought up Abe Lincoln and I told her I think he was probably the first real Democrat (though I'm told at the time he was what was then the Republicans).

All in all a most interesting conversation to have with your EIGHT year old!

We wrapped up the girl scout cookie orders tonight. I asked Elijah if he wanted to buy a box of cookies from his sister and he wrinkled up his brow for a bit before replying "Weww, I WOULD wike some wemon ones." So we ordered him some lemon ones. I think this is a close second to my all time favorite Elijah quote of "I cowwected cwams by the wake"

Ben and Wil had dentist appointments today and Ben did awesome. He is very independent in that respect; he prefers to go in himself rather than be accompanied by a parent. Brian took them, so I wasn't there (I was home with baby, more on that later). William wouldn't let his mouth be pried open. I just now got the whole scoop from the only guy who really knew what was going on, which would be Ben. He said...........William MEOWED AT THE DENTIST!!!!!!!!!

I never thought I'd say this but I'm getting tired of kitties. Tomorrow we again attempt ECFE. I have to decide beforehand what Im going to do if he meows all night again. Let him do it? Or draw a line in the sand? If I draw a line in the sand I can guarantee he'll cross it. With a purr.

While we were in Luck Brian decided to go running (he is on a kick with that lately; I remember he did a few years ago for a couple months and he told people he ran 8 miles a day. Which was a fib). He asked me where a safe place to run in town would be. I was very careful to steer him away from the high crime areas of the city. Actually the high crime area is gone now that DeNuccis 35 Villa is demolished and replaced by the Stop a Sec corporate headquarters. So he wasn't mugged.

The mention of DeNuccis made me think of one more thing. First, I must digress. Gary DeNucci ran the hot spot in the area for years. He was a big wop with gold chains and a crayfish-looking face. He sold out a while back and was retired. Last year his house burned down and the cops found a pile of melted jewelry and a giant burnt marshmallow in his basement, and it was him. OK, it wasn't really a marshmallow, but it gives you the right image.

Jan, mom's cousin who passed away last week, was cremated and her service will be on Ash Wednesday. I know you don't want me to say what you think I'm going to say, but I'm going to say it. Will they use her? I have some of Gramma Mary left, I should try that at home.

Last but not least, an update on baby. He was punky again starting this weekend so I brought him in today and his ear infection is still going on so now he is on Augmentin for 10 days. I'm going to ask for a referral to ENT for him also, just to check things out.

I'd like to close this lengthy post with a poem written by Elijah K. Schurman.

My snowman's name is Elijah
At night he has a party
To make him I put 3 balls together.
I put a hat and a scarf on him
He is so so still
except at night

PS this reminds me of Uncle Hans. When he was a kid he had a rabbit named Hans. Creative fellows, huh?