William B., embarrassing kid

Tonight we had story night instead of ECFE. He was very confident when we arrived, marching in with his little arms a'swingin'. We were seated in a room similar to a band room, with different levels of floor, like big wide steps--am I making sense? So anyway Max starts talking and this big dirty guy and his kid come in and sit right next to William (who is on my right). Right away I catch a wiff of this dude. He smelled like poop. I'm not sure how that could be, but he did. Thinking about it right now it was probably a dental thing; he wasn't any better to look at than he was to smell. His poor little kid! But mine...welll, he wrinkled his little nose, slitted his green eyes, and said...loudly..."IT SMELLS IN HERE!". That would have been enough, but he FOLLOWED IT UP BY MOVING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF ME and shooting the offending fellow a gangster look. I'll address the issue of tact with him sometime soon. I was too busy laughing at him tonight to think of such things! I'm hoping Stinky Guy didn't know it was him Wil was referring to; he did look like the type to not have a clue. The first teacher sat down and held up the story she was about to read. From my left (which a few minutes prior would have been from my RIGHT) this little--but robust--voice proclaimed 'HEY, I HAVE THAT BOOK!". Max invited the children to come and sit around her. William, as usual, declined, but he was quite sure that shouldn't affect his ability to see the pictures well. "HEY, I CAN'T SEE THE PICTURES!" Two stories into the evening he spied a cart with cookies and milk. "I DONT WANT ANY MORE STORIES, CAN WE HAVE A SNACK NOW?" Third story. "HEY, I DON'T HAVE THAT ONE." (turning to look at me, stage whisper) "YOU CAN GET IT FOR ME". THEN we sang the dreaded "Tooty Ta"! This is a song I first encountered when Elijah was in kindergarten. It requires participants to do sillly things like plant feet wide part, with knees together, and tongue out, etc. Nothing me or any other self respecting Giller would be caught dead doing. Elijah to this day has not done it, despite the fact that it is a daily thing in kindergarten here. Ben LOVES the tooty ta. We predicted WIlliam would not do it. We predicted correctly. Max announced we would be doing it and I heard...loud and clear despite my pointed lack of eye contact "NO WAY!' Last but not least we had snacks. Waiting in line to get our cookies and milk, I was told "YOU CAN HAVE THE MILK. I'LL HAVE THE COOKIES". (When I type in all caps here, I do indeed mean to imply shouting). When told to thank the lady for his cookies................................just to top the night off with perfection...........................HE MEOWED. Bless her heart, to save my face she told me she's had a few dogs in class lately, and THEY even eat out of bowls with no hands. On the way out I told him that I had talked to Papa this morning and Papa had said he was thinking about him. Wil went gangster and said "Nah, he's thinking about Benjamin" (he actually used the full name!). I said no, Papa was thinking about you and said you are a funny guy. Miniature gangster replied "No, HE'S a funny guy!" For what it's worth, I remember hanging on a coat rack at a church supper around that age and being invisible inside the coats until some unsuspecting soul reached in to get theirs. But I think he's worse.